Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
