He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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