If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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