when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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