I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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