How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
