woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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