Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is my gift to your gina
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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