This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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