Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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