she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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