I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
