Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
