Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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