just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
