If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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