I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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