He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
