im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
where am i from again
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
