never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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