Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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