Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
