I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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