I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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