He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
