Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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