apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
