Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
