The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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