I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
