I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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