hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
