I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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