About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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