I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
