I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
