Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
