So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
