I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize