so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
