oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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