I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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