I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
