thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
