dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
