My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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