Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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