I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize