I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
