Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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