better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize