I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ok first of all what the fuck
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
