Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
