try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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