We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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