It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
