I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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