I just cut my nipple shaving
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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